Welcome to Korrupt Kofi's Annual UN Circus and Freak Show

Welcome one and all! Enter the UN Big Tent on Turtle Bay to see the world's most bizarre display of world leaders as they spout and spin, leap and bend, flip and flop!

This week has been one of the best shows in decades, we have gathered together the best to entertain you. Let us start with an Iranian freak, the Talking Jackal, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will entertain you by lying with a straight face, rapidly shifting the blame for the world's problems to America and Israel, and display his sense of humor with lines like "We are under the watchful eyes of the IAEA (International Atomic Energy Agency - the UN atomic watchdog) so what is the problem?" Oh, what a hoot that Mahmoud is, too bad he is dangerous, and needs to be caged to keep the world safe.

Next up we have Mahmoud's newest wife and South America's favorite Clown, Hugo Chavez. Hugo the Dog Faced Clown is known world wide for his seething hatred of America, in which he can't talk about without drooling and foaming at the mouth. His performance was one of his best, with his quote of "The devil came here yesterday," Chavez said, referring to Bush's address on Tuesday and making the sign of the cross. Unfortunately the only reason the world even listens to Hugo is that he happen to be the Dictator of a country that owns a lot of oil. Without the oil, Hugo would be just another Third World Depot yapping at America's heels. Maybe Hugo has rabies, and will have to be put down. Too bad, won’t be sad.

And to round out the best of the best we have the Cowardly Contortionist, Fwench President Jacques Chirac, who twisted at the last second, and ran away from wanting to sanction Iran for it's nuclear program. Ah that Chirac is a whiley one, he can twist and turn on a dime and run away from any hint of confrontation. But I will give him his due, it probably wasn't cowardness that made him turn, it was probably money, just like he took money from Iraq (can you say Oil-For-Food Scandal? I knew you could) to protect them at the Security Council. Never trust a cheese eating surrender monkey like Chirac, because one minute they are your Ally, and the next he is trying to stab you in the back. Bad, Jacques, may your grapes wilt on the vine, and your cheese smell worse that it already does.

It's been a wonderful week here at the UN's Big Tent, the crowd has been predictable (anti-American), the food good and the women subservient. As for the trash we left, let NYC clean it up. Until next time, I spit in your face America!


Kriminal Kofi Annan, King of the World